The Twilight Saga: New Moon

You have been warned: if somehow you have smacked your head on the pavement and like The Twilight Saga: New Moon (2009), please do not read on. I hope you are well off this review right now. Anyway, well, New Moon. You know, I used to like Twilight, but then I got sick of it, and New Moon has definitely put me in the Twi-haters group!
Bella (Kristen Stewart) is still going out with the handsome vampire Edward Cullen (Robert Pattinson), but is finding it hard to come to grips with the fact that she is aging while he remains youthful. This youthfulness causes more trouble, so the Cullen's decide to leave Forks to reside somewhere else. While Bella is left alone and unhappy, she realises that adrenaline allows her to see Edward again. She enlists the help of werewolf friend Jacob Black (Taylor Lautner), inevitably becoming closer and closer to him.
Okay, so I thought my bias for hating Twilight would make me hate this film. But it did that all on it's own. I honestly don't know how girls my age could get a kick out of it. It was slow, boring, muddled, badly-acted, I couldn't help but laugh (it succeeded as being the funniest movie of 2009). I thought Kristen Stewart would have been a lot better, but it was like she was in deflated auto-pilot, as were the rest of her cast members. The only one who was any good was Anna Kendrick, and that's because she is an Oscar nominated actress. You hear that? This girl has a future. New Moon is one of the worst, if not the worst, offering of 2009.
2/10