What an R18 is Like for Someone Too Young to Watch Them

NZ isn't like America. The censorship system here is a load of crap. We have our G's and PG's, which absolutely anyone can hire or buy. Then we have our M's, which anyone could watch, but some shops which are far too strict with their DVDs say that people under 16 can't buy them, simply because the label says "Suitable for mature audiences 16 and over." But I could go and see any M rated movie at the cinemas without any trouble. Then we have an R rating, which means that people under 16 can only watch the movie if they have parental guidance. The same goes for RP13 and RP16 movies, but they are extremely rare. And of course, we have our restricted movies. First is an R13, which of course means that you have to be 13 or above to watch it legally. Following that are the R15 (very rare), R16 and the very worst, R18 movies. About 50% of the movies I watch are R16's, and I'm still a little shy of actually being 16. And to be honest, no one gives a crap about censorship anymore.

I usually refrain from watching R18 movies, since none of them are really that great unless they're directed by Quentin Tarantino or David Fincher, but the ones I have watched have mostly deserved such a strict rating. Yet, I haven't gone and shot anyone because I was so affected by the film. After watching a certain R18 film the other night, I decided I'd list some of the worst offenders of the great rating that I've seen. No, Antichrist or The Human Centipede are not of the list.

Offender One

Now, I admit, I wasn't disturbed by American Psycho's violence and killing and whatnot. Instead, I was disturbed by Christian Bale. We all know that Christian Bale is pretty much very different in every role he rakes, whether he be scarily skinny or huge and buff. But in this movie, he's just...scary. He really has fun with being this guy obsessed with status and power, and having the perfect business card with a watermark. But from the moment I saw him pulling off his facemask I was disturbed by this character. Seeing him run naked down a hallway with blood all over him after a hooker with a chainsaw only made it worse. And I do admit I let out a rather large gasp when he said he ate some of his victims brains. American Psycho is gloriously violent, even though it isn't the non-stop killing spree I'd thought it would be. So, while I wasn't so disturbed by the fact that he had heads in his fridge and likes to dance to 'Hip to be Square' before he axes a colleague, I was just disturbed by Patrick Bateman. He was an odd fellow, that's for sure.
The effect it's supposed to have on young kiddies like me: I'd probably want to go and kill people just because I want to. I might want to get a tanning bed. I could feel drawn to eating people. Om nom nom.
Actual effect on me: Since seeing the film, I really wanna get a morning routine. And "I have to return my video-tapes" is the best escape line ever.
The R18 verdict: 90% R18. I probably wouldn't rate it any less, as it is pretty graphic and the extended sex scene really doesn't do it any justice.

Offender Two

Ever since I first saw Requiem for a Dream I believe I haven't been the same. The movie literally damaged me. Now that's not because the movie is graphically violent or it has loads of sex or whatever in it. I think it's just an R18 because it is emotionally disturbing. Like, I don't ever want to turn out like any of these people. I don't want to get my arm chopped off (I must say I watched that scene through my fingers). I don't want to get addicted to diet pills because I have false hope. I don't want to turn to prostitution just because I want to pay to live in a fucked up life. I just can't stand to think that some people live like this. That's why, on the two occasions that I've experienced this movie, I cried so much it was like the world was ending. And I don't think it's so much a content issue as to why this movie is so heavily rated, it just must be because the rating people know that it isn't the most pleasant movie to watch. It was rated NC-17 because of that sex scene that happens in the middle of the film, but I don't think that adds much to the rating.
The effect it's supposed to have on young kiddies like me: I will suddenly be drawn to drugs. I'll want to lose weight via diet pills. I will do awful things just to get what I want.
Actual effect it had on me: I felt like my happy life ended after seeing this movie.
The R18 verdict: 50%. As far as content goes, it's actually not that bad. But then again, I wouldn't allow anyone under the age of 18 to watch it for their own sanity.

Offender Three

Any film depicting rape is at once worthy of the R18 sticker. Ironically, The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo was originally rated R16 when it was released in cinemas. However, when it was released on DVD and a lot more people started seeing it, it started receiving a lot of complaints for it's brutality, and about a month or two after the DVD was released, the rating was changed, and instead of just containing "sexual violence" it got changed to "brutal sexual violence". I'm actually glad the movie got moved up to such a rating, because that rape scene, in itself, is so graphic that it shouldn't really be seen by the young. But I could take it...twice. Apart from the rape scene, there are a few graphic murder-themed tales and scenes, as it's a very dark film. Other than that, there isn't much to complain about. I still wouldn't recommend that anyone my age watch it, though, because I know that people three times my age can't handle it.
The effect it is supposed to have on young kiddies like me: 'Men who Hate Women': the original title pretty much sums it up.
Actual effect on me: Even though it looks like a lot of shit goes down there, I still really really really wanna go to Sweden.
The R18 verdict: 75%. There are a few really shocking scenes scattered throughout the film, and it is a very hard film to watch.

Offender Four

Again, any movie with a rape scene is worthy of a high rating. The Poker House, a little seen gem starring Jennifer Lawrence before Winter's Bone shot her to fame, has a rather graphic, horrible rape scene in it, which gives it the R18 sticker fair and square. Like, after I saw that one scene, I just about wanted to shoot myself. It was freaking depressing to see someone who looks as fragile as Jennifer Lawrence being tormented by a big hulking guy. Other than that, the movie only has a bit of swearing, some violence, underage smoking/drug use and it's a little bit emotionally scarring. I'd totally recommend the movie though, especially coz I think I'm the only who has seen it.
The effect it is supposed to have on young kiddies like me: I guess I should probably want to smoke more.
Actual effect on me: I learnt to stay away from my Mum's pimp. Except she doesn't have a pimp, so that lesson is pretty much useless.
The R18 verdict: 30%. The rape scene is the only thing that gets this movie the R18 rating.

Offender Five

The last R18 film I have chosen is Kick-Ass, one of my favourite movies, and one that I could watch over and over again. This rating is rubbish. I believe, if a film is to be an R18, it should have swearing, sex, lots of violence and it should be emotionally scarring. Okay, so Kick-Ass uses the word 'fuck' probably 200 times. That's R16 level, to me. There ain't much sex in this movie, as such, but there are a lot of suggestions about that matter. I think it's the violence that gets the film such a high rating, because the only reason I can think of as to why this movie would possibly be damaging is when Nicolas Cage is burning alive going "TAAAAAAAAKE COVERRRRR CHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIILD! NOW SWITCH. TO KRYPTONIIIIIIIIIITEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!" Yes, that was emotionally scarring. However, the violence is gloriously giddy and it's really happy just throwing around blood. What really hangs me up though is that people get really pissed when they hear someone young like Chloe Moretz using the foul language she does, because that's not okay. But yet she can kill around five people in one scene with her own bare hands and no one bats an eyelash. Because swearing is worse than killing people.
The effect it is supposed to have on young kiddies like me: I shall want to wear a funny costume and going around killing bad people. I might want to swear all the time. I should probably get the wrong idea about superheroism.
Actual effect on me: Like Nicolas CAGE I have learnt TO put emphasis on THE wrong WORDS. I also MUST now name every CAT I see Mr. BITEY.
The R18 verdict: 10%. The violence is definitely at an R18 level, but I'm pretty sure everyone my age can handle it. Same goes for the swearing. Swearing is nothing to me anymore, as I'm pretty sure there aren't as many different swear words as their used to be.

Other notable R18 films I have seen which actually haven't really affected me:
Pulp Fiction, Fight Club, Machete, Reservoir Dogs, Se7en, Unthinkable, The Killer Inside Me, Perfect Blue, Harry Brown, Brooklyn's Finest, Women in Trouble, Zack and Miri Make a Porno, The Wackness.Plus, I'm a huge fan of True Blood, which is probably the biggest offender of all when it comes to the R18 sticker.

So, the point is, the R18 rating is merely a warning. People know that it isn't going to be all fluffy unicorns dancing on rainbows because it's rated the highest possible censorship rating. And half the time, the content doesn't even match the rating. Bottom line is, when I finally turn 16, I'll be over the moon because I can finally go to R16 movies. When I turn 18, I'll be excited for...other stuff.