A Conversation with No Country for Old Men

You know the drill. I transform myself into a movie, and get interviewed by a guy who is named after my imaginary cat. Tonight I shall be No Country for Old Men, the 2007 Best Picture winner from the Coen Brothers which I finally got around to watching from start to end.

Before we begin - while we're on the subject of conversations, a conversation I had with fellow blogger Max made it on to Anomalous Material. This is the first of a new feature over at that awesome website!

C: I am here in the middle of nowhere with No Country for Old Men, an Academy Award winning feature.
N: Indeed I am an Academy Award winning feature. Hang on, did I say you could sit?

C: No, but you strike me as a man who wouldn't want to waste his chair.
N: It's not often you see a Mexican in a suit.

C: I'm not a Mexican...uh, okay, explain yourself...
N: I'm based on a very famous novel by Cormac McCarthy, which was adapted for the screen by the Coen Brothers, who happen to be very famous themselves. They made Fargo, The Big Lebowski, and that remake True Grit which was nominated for 10 Oscars but it did not win any of them. Ha, I laugh at it's misfortune.

C: Well, you yourself were only nominated for 8.

N: But I won 4! Including Best Picture. That meek little western couldn't even beat a movie about a guy who can't talk properly. Me? I beat that World War II love story, that one with the pregnant teenager that I could not understand as they talked funny, that one with George Clooney in it, and that one about the milkshake drinker. The secret to my success? Anton Chigurh killed them all.

C:  So you're saying that True Grit is simply inferior because it does not have Anton Chigurh?
N: Does Mattie Ross have a cattle gun? No. Does Rooster Cogburn have a bad haircut? No.

C: Basically, you think you are the best movie from the Coens.
N: One would assume so, yes.

C: Anyway, you did not explain yourself fully. I want plot details.
N: Well, some dumb-ass by the name of Llewelyn Moss comes across the remains of a drug deal gone wrong, where he also discovers $2 million. And what does a dumb-ass do when he comes across a stack of money? He takes it. That dumb-ass shouldn't have done that. Coz now Anton Chigurh, the most evil hitman with the most evil haircut ever, is after him. He won't stop until he gets that money back, even if that means killing everyone who comes into contact with him. Anton is a force that cannot be contained, not even by the law, which includes Ed Bell, who bitterly oversees these murders happening.

C: Sounds very intense.
N: Oh believe me, I'm one gritty, graphic and gripping movie.

C: Being a movie from the Coen Brothers, do you have a lot of wit like all of the others?

N: I'm your traditional Coens movie. Lots of witty dialogue, plenty of great characters, scenes that have been directed the hell out of, and, of course, beautiful cinematography by Roger Deakins. It must be worth mentioning that there is hardly any music in me, which is pretty darn odd for a thriller, yet I'm still completely engaging. I'm a rough and tough Coens masterpiece.

C: What about your performances, which include an Oscar winning turn from Javier Bardem?
N: The performances across the board are all brilliant. Tommy Lee Jones, Josh Brolin and Kelly McDonald are all great, yes, but Javier Bardem is the real show stealer. What could be more scary than a man completely devoid of emotion, who drives around with a forceful weapon killing anyone who angers him slightly, and who believes that fate can be decided by a coin toss?

C: Does fate come down to a coin toss?
N: It depends. If you put your lucky quarter into your pocket, it'll get all mixed up with your other coins, and then it will become just a coin, which is what it is.

C: Well, it sure was nice chatting with you. Any last words for the readers out there?
N: People always say the same thing. They always say "You don't have to do this." But you really do. You really gotta watch me.

And my rating for No Country for Old Men: