A Conversation with 'The Beaver'

What is she talking about, you say? Have my chronic headaches that have plagued me all week or my new gluten-free diet sent me into a world of hallucinations, and now I'm resorting to have conversations with a beaver? No. Loyal readers, or readers who have been around these parts since around May last year, will remember I did this 'A Conversation with...' series where I got a fake 'interview' called Christopher (after the ginger cat that I never got) and I 'became' the movie and answered some questions. It is pretty high-tech stuff. So, coming at you each Thursday night (hopefully) is another season of the Conversation series - which is just my naive way of saying that during the July school holidays I lost my creative juices and gave up on reviewing films this way, but I feel like it needs to come back. So let's start off with 'Season 2', where we'll chat with Jodie Foster's The Beaver first.

CHRISTOPHER: Hello there. Now, before we begin, I don't know who I am supposed address, you or the beaver puppet?
THE BEAVER: I am no 'puppet'.

C: Right, so I suppose you're going to tell me that you're a 'real boy'...
TB: I would, if I was Pinnochio. You're supposed to just go with it.

C: But what if I want to talk to the actual film and not just...you?
TB: Well then you're cripes out of luck. You've only got me.

C: Well I guess that shall suffice. Okay then, tell me a bit about yourself/the movie.
TB: This is a picture of Walter Black, a hopelessly depressed individual. Somewhere inside him is a man who fell in love. Who started a family. Who ran a successful company. That man has gone missing. No matter what he's tried, and he's tried everything, Walter can't seem to bring him back. It's as if he's died, but hasn't had the good sense to take his body with him. So mostly what he does is sleep.

C: Mhm...so where do you, the Beaver, come into the story?
TB: I lend a helping hand to our Walter...or rather he lends me a hand! You get it?

C: Wow, you're jokes are almost as bad as that of How Do You Know, whom I interviewed last year.
TB: I have big stars in my cast, too.

C: Speaking of 'big stars', let's talk about Mel Gibson.
TB: How'd I know that would be on your question list?

C: Because he's the reason nobody wants to see you.
TB: Well, that's not my fault, now is it? He's not even the star of the movie. *I'm* the star of the movie. People shouldn't care about him. They should care about *me.*

C: You're kinda sounding like Miss Piggy right now...
TB: What, just because we're both puppets?

C: I think that's where the comparison ends. In terms of 2011 puppet movies, The Muppets comes out on top.
TB: Well, I can't really compete with the feel good nature of that movie, nor do I have any song or dance numbers.

C: No...your film is more on the 'downbeat' sides of things.
TB: As you start to realise that I mean business and this isn't Mel Gibson's film any more, things do start to get a bit serious. Especially as we dwindle down to the end, we realise that old Mel really does have a bit of a problem and I may have caused it...even though it is not my fault.

C: Yes...things do get very dark towards the end. It kind of detracts from the philosophical moments scattered throughout the film.
TB: Well, at first, I take care of all of the philosophical moments. I'm almost like a self-help guide, except I'm a puppet. Maybe they should make lots of beaver puppets and distribute them around the place or something. I can just imagine what they would have on their packet: "Hello. The person who handed you this card is under the care of a prescription puppet, designed to help create a psychological distance between himself and the negative aspects of his personality. Please treat him as you normally would, but address yourself to the puppet. Thank you." But anyway, I digress. I thought I might leave the philosophical to the two teens, Norah and Porter.

C: They did have some interesting things to say, particularly towards the end, but their characters felt a bit redundant compared to everything else happening in the film.
TB: I guess *I* do take most of the attention. But they're played by Anton Yelchin and Jennifer Lawrence, two fine young actors who can rustle up a bit of attention by themselves.

C: That's true. Finally, Jodie Foster has proved herself as an actress, but she was a good choice to direct your big 'starring role'?
TB: She was just fine, but I think the proof is in the pudding. I had some good material to work with, but then I also had some really, well, shit material to work with. She didn't do a lot to elevate that, but she did what she could. It's nothing new. I can't help but feel a little short-changed.

C: Hey, well at least Ricky Gervais made a joke about you at the Golden Globes.
TB: He made a joke about Johnny Depp, too. And where is he at now? Exactly.

What I got: