Nic November: Gone in 60 Seconds and Lord of War

Just in case you didn't get the message in my last "Dipping My Toes" post, November will be dedicated to the work of everyone's favourite actor, Nicolas Cage. Throughout the month, I will be subjecting myself willingly watching eight Nicolas Cage movies, so I can figure out whether I love him or I hate him. Starting off the month I have 2000's Gone in 60 Seconds and 2005's Lord of War. Brace yourself, this is going to be an interesting month...

Also, while we're at it, this month I'll be giving all of the Nic November movies their own specialised ratings. They're called the "Cage Rage" scales, which I used a long time ago, but am bringing back for this. You'll see them below, but the more on the Cage Rage scale, the more raged it is. It isn't a reflection on how good the movie is, just how crazy Cage is.

The Hairstyle: Yes, Peroxide Makes Me Look More Badass.

Gone in 60 Seconds is exactly the kind of movie that they play thousands of times on TV, pretending like it is a "Premiere Movie" when in reality, it has been a "Premiere Movie" the first 13 times they played it on a Saturday night. But that doesn't matter, because it is so forgettable that people will go on thinking that it is a "Premiere Movie" until the Friends reruns stop being aired at 6.30pm every weeknight.

Honestly, Gone in 60 Seconds is so disposable that I watched it on Sunday morning, and I've already forgotten about it. There wasn't even that much Cage Rage to burst out at me. I guess, if you like cars, then watching a whole bunch of annoying people steal a whole bunch of annoying sounding cars is the most fun you can have with your clothes on. Then again, I don't think that this would have appealed to the eight year old me who was so obsessed with cars that she knew every make in the world. Alas, now I can't tell a Mercedes from a BMW so there was no car candy for me. Which I suppose was kind of the point of the movie, because no-one bothered to make up an actual story. There were just people stealing cars, Nicolas Cage running around in a leather jacket, Angelina Jolie looking really weird with a blonde wig and blue eyes, and something about Nicolas Cage's brother having problems with Nicolas Cage. Oh, and there's a really awkward car themed kind of sex scene between Cage and Jolie. Like, Cage is rambling on about car parts while Jolie is all over him. The movie isn't that Cage Ragey, but it was a bit Cage Stagey, if you know what I mean. This makes me sound like a spastic reviewer, but it isn't my fault that Gone in 60 Seconds was so dumb.

Cage Rage:

The Hairstyle: Take Me Seriously.

Lord of War, however, is the kind of movie that they show at 1.30am on a Sunday morning because it is actually half decent, and dear lord no-one should ever watch good movies at a decent time. Even though the movie is directed by Andrew Niccol, who was born in Paraparaumu (of all places...I don't mean any hate to anyone that might be reading from Paraparaumu...I saw (500) Days of Summer at your cinemas), who also directed such awesomeness as Gattaca and Justin Timberlake's crying in In Time. Lord of War is actually pretty good, as an unflinching tale of gun-running in the Middle East. There's only one problem (aside from the really messy plot structure): Nicolas Cage.

Sure, I'm not the biggest believer in Nicolas Cage, so every time I see him there's a part of me laughing away. Sometimes that can be a little problematic, but I can't help it. Of course, while I was watching Lord of War - it being a very serious film - I was laughing away at Nicolas Cage because in all honesty, I think he was a total miscast. His performance as the gun-runner, Yuri Orlov, was okay, but he's Nicolas Cage. I couldn't imagine him selling guns and stuff. I can imagine him stealing cars, but I can't imagine him selling guns. He just doesn't have that persuasive, "yes, listen to me" vibe running through him. Man, I sound kinda awful but really, this film would have been better without Nicolas Cage. Plus, I totally couldn't see Jared Leto being his brother. Although I do wish that Jared Leto would return to acting. (Actually, I just found out this afternoon that he's gonna return to acting. So that's awesome.)

Let's just say, Lord of War was a good film, with an okay Nicolas Cage who shouldn't have been in it. If that makes sense.

Cage Rage:



What do you think of these two films? How would you rank the Cage Rage in them?